Short Story 4 - Space Selkie - Completed 1/06/11

I found it today.  I dare not tell Evelyn.  It was hidden inside one of the vents in the living room, behind the sofa, under a mat and in a plastic bag.  It shimmered so.  Everyone was gone for the lunchtime meal, but I wasn't feeling well.  My stomach hurt.  I didn't even tell Eric when they came back.  I had to hide it again quickly.  I heard the sound of their approach down the long emptiness of the corridor and slid everything back into place.
They find me in the living room, reading one of my data books.  The one I picked was a favorite.  Sometimes the tablet catches on certain pages...just because I've visited them so often.  I love the pictures of Old Earth.  The forests of South America before the Bad Rains.  Father tells me that we are lucky to be here, that there were many who would have killed to have our place.  I don't like to think about that.  I just like the pictures.
"Looking at the Rainforests again, Michael?"  Evelyn says as I slip the tablet under my blanket.  I don't know why I tried to hide it.  She always knows what I've been looking at.  There's nothing wrong with it.
"You always pick the most boring stuff to look at."  Eric says, dropping onto the sofa with a loud grunt.  "You missed spaghetti today.  They even added some soy meat."  He reaches around me and pulls the tablet from my covers.  He presses a few buttons and the electric squawk of one of his games soundes from the small speakers.
Evelyn's voice is soothing and kind, "How are you feeling, my dear?"  She stands at the window and presses the shaders down.  With a slight hiss, the windows brighten and the unfettered light of the sun filters through the thick, transparent aluminium.   Our rooms are walls of silver and floors of matted brown.  The door leads into the service corridor that connects with the main tunnels of the station.  We revolve over the empty skies.  There are pinprick lights about us and blues and browns below us.  Father says that the colors below are where we used to live.  But I don't remember any of it.
Mary has a plate full of lunch within her hands.  It is covered with plastic sheeting.  "Maurice was there.  He missed seeing you."  Her hands are small though the fingers are long - like Evelyn's.  Her hair is the same shade as mine.  She sets the plate on the side table and sits back.  I lean against her and she begins to play with my hair.
Evelyn speaks from across the room, "Feeling better?" Her eyes are warm pools of concern, "Tummy still hurting?"
I nod and snuggle into the crook of Mary's arm.  She shifts slightly and takes one of my hands in hers, moving long fingers along the lines of my palm.
"My little man." Evelyn says and moves across the room to me.  I feel her warm breath as she leans in to kiss my forehead.  "I'm sorry you don't feel well."
"What a baby." Eric breathes, eyes not rising from the light of the tablet.
Evelyn ruffles my hair and takes a playful swing at my brother.  "He's little and feeling bad.   Leave him alone."
Eric laughs and smirks, "He's always feeling bad."
"If you have nothing nice to say...take that thing to your room and leave us in peace."  Evelyn's voice is kindly but firm.
Eric is up and gone with a sigh.
"Don't let him get to you, little." Mary comforts me, "He's just sad that he's too old to get any sympathy."
I smile and let my eyes close.  The shimmer of the thing behind the couch burning behind my lids.

I want to tell Mary.  I want to show her.  But there is a fear about the shimmering thing that I can't seem to shake.  It's like something will happen if others know.  Like I'll lose something.  I dream for a while.  The Station is gone and I float in the darkness for a while before I am caught and brought to the surface in a burning mass of light.  I think I can still feel Mary's fingers on my face, but I seem to remember Evelyn carrying me to bed.  I hear her sing her nighttime song, the one I love about stars and dust and black.
Father was there too.  Strong hands and dark eyes over my pillow.  I feel his rough hands touch my cheek.  "G'Night, my little one."  His voice is rough too.  The words scratching out of his throat.
I don't see my father much.  He works the engines at nighttime.  He smells of electricty and fuel.  There is another smell about him though...something sweet and nice.  Evelyn.  Sometimes he smells of Evelyn and it calms me.   He is there sometimes in the evening before rushing out to work; a distant black at the end of the table at dinnertime.  Only his eyes seem bright.
I was sick again during the night.  I had nothing within my stomach to bring up.    Eric helps me to my bed and I fall to the pillow shaking and sweaty.  I might have said something then.  Told my brother about the shiny behind the couch.  I seem to think that I did, but I don't know for sure.  The nighttime is full of my stomach hurting and sleep.

I feel better when the lights rise in the morning.  We try to set our morning times to the earth time below us.  Father says it is wise to do so.  So that we'll be ready when the earth is.
Evelyn comes in and rouses me.  I had been awake for a little, but acted like I was still sleeping.  When I do that, she sings to wake me.  I think she knows that I am playing.  But her song is so beautiful, I can't help myself.  Her voice sounds of starlight and sunshine.  She sings words I don't know but the feeling within them is her.  A smile breaks across my face and she laughs.
"You've been awake this whole time." her voice careses my face like Mary's fingers.  "Up and out, my little one."
Father is at the table when I emerge.  He holds a tablet in his hands and his face is lit up with it.  I almost tell him of the Shiny behind the couch but my stomach is gurgling with hunger.  He hears the sound and smiles, "You must be feeling better."  He sets me in the chair next to him, "Take it easy, son.  Don't try to eat too much."
I nod so strongly that it makes my neck hurt.
Eric and Mary are already gone to their classes and our rooms are quiet.  Evelyn is moving about us, picking up things and straightening.  Father's eyes follow her above the edge of the data tablet.  He doesn't know that I notice.  When Evelyn sets my breakfast before me, she rubs my her hand through my tangled hair and hums a bit of the song.  Her eyes are cast out of the windows and her lips tremble.  Father isn't watching then.

We have been in the skies since I was born.  I'm nearly eight.  The Bad Rains made the buildings melt and the ground dead.  Father says some bad men made it happen.  He has told me alot about the times before, but I don't remember.  He says that there were lots of people who couldn't come on the stations and that we live in only one of the many that float in the black skies.  He is really good at his  job and that is why we were able to come.  Mother didn't get to come to our new home.  She died when the first fires fell from the sky.  I never knew her.  I only know Evelyn.  She is tall and her hair is the darkest black, like the sky.  She moves softly like air even though her feet touch the ground.  She is my mother now and I don't mind at all.

Father leaves for work and Evelyn goes to the Gardens for our food.
She locks the door and tells me to rest.   Even though I am feeling better, she thinks it would be better if I stay home.  It's fine, I tell her, and cuddle on the sofa with my tablet and my blankets.  She leaves some fruit on a plate with some water in a cup just in case I get hungry.  I've been to the Gardens many times.  All of our food grows there under the bright lights and the misters.  All of us that live on the station share the Gardens.  We can only take what we need for one day.
I know that Evelyn will go to the Observation Room too.  She always goes there after.  She will stand in the bright sunshine and look at the stars.  If no one else is there she will sing and twirl.  I've been there with her too.  That is the only thing that I will miss today.

I am alone with my tablet when Mary comes home.  I hear the door open and look up to see her drop her bag on the table by the door.  Mary is so pretty.  She has red hair and is about fourteen, I think.  Her skin is lighter than mine and her face is always on the edge of a smile, even when she is sad.  She sits next to me.
When I start to ask her why she is home so early she tells me that it was a half day today.  Some times they do that, she says, to save power or to work on the engines.
I feel a tingling in my stomach as I ask her about the Shiney behind the sofa.
"Shiney? What do you mean?" her voice is flat.  She doesn't know.
"Yesterday" I say and feeling dry in my throat I take a sip of water, "I found a glittery thing in the vent behind the sofa.  Here.  I'll show you."  I pull the blankets back and suddenly feel cold.  I'm still wearing my pajamas and the thin cloth doesn't hold warmth.
I tell her to stand and move the sofa just a bit away from the wall.  The vent is low and comes loose easily.  I can hear the rattling of the plastic wrapping like before.  That was what made me look inside to begin with, I tell her.  As I reach in and pull the Shiney out I tell her how I dropped my tablet behind the sofa yesterday and had to climb under to grab it when I heard the plastic moving in the air.
I stand and push the sofa back.  I am holding the black plastic bag in my hand.  Mary is frowning.
"We shouldn't be doing this." She says.  Her cheeks are red.  When I ask her why, her frown only gets deeper.  "This is someone's secret.  We shouldn't look for secrets.  Father said so."
I slide my fingers along the seal at the top of the bag.  The shiney lets some of its light out and I hear Mary take a deep breath.  She reaches over and takes the bag from me and pulls the Shiney out.
The light of it moves over her face like a million tiny mirrors reflecting the sun.  It makes a shimmery, electric sound as she holds it and the little pieces of it move against each other.  Her voice is only air when she talks, "Its like its made of fish scales only glowy metal.  But not metal."  She tips her head as she thinks of words to say.  Her eyes are wide and the Shiney glimmers over them.  "What is it?"
"Here."  I say and take it from her.  I lay it out on the rug.  "I thought it was some kind of blanket at first.  Like the ones in the saftey bags they keep near the air locks.  The ones that look like foil?"  She only nods as I press the folds out flat.  "But its not a square or a rectangle like a blanket."
Mary gets on her knees beside me and we both look at it.  I feel almost afraid, but it is a kind of afraid that wants to make me smile or giggle.
"Its so pretty." she says as her head tilts again, " but what could it be?"
"I did some looking on my tablet."  I say and retreive the small plastic screen from the sofa.  I press the awake button and flick through some of the pictures on it.  "Its like this."
I give push the tablet in front of her eyes since she won't turn from the Shiney to look at it.
"The picture I found is something called mail.  It is from long, long ago.  A time hundreds, maybe even thousands of years before the bad rain.  It was the only thing that I could find that even looked like it.  People used to wear it to keep safe when they fought each other.  Back before guns and bombs."
She barely even looks at the picture.  "I know what that is.  This isn't..." she is looking at the Shiney again, touching it with her fingers and feeling the soft glow.  "The shape is wrong.  This is almost round, like a tube. See?"  She slides her hand along the top and slips her fingers inside.  "Look.  The bottom is closed.  Its like a sock and look at this."  She lays down next to it.  "It's longer than me."  She moves to her side and is touching it again.  "It doesn't feel like someone made it.  It feels like something natural.  Like..." she frowns again "like skin.  It almost feels like its moving under my fingers."
She jumps up and pulls the tablet from me.  "Wait."  her fingers move on the screen, pressing and typing, "I've seen something like this.  When we went to the Ark at school."
She is chewing on the inside of her cheeks as she searches.
The Ark is where we keep the animals on the station, like the old story when water was everywhere on earth and the man kept animals safe.  We did that too.  As many as we could find.
"Here."  She turns the tablet to show me.  "Snakes do this.  They change their skin."  I see a long white papery thing that looks like a snake but with no snake inside.  Mary is still talking, "It's like that only prettier and still alive, I think.  I saw a snake with half of his skin off and it had a new, shineyer skin under it.  I think that if a snake made something like this they could get back inside and still use it."
Mary is so smart.  All of her teachers have told Father and Evelyn so.

We put it away.  We are both afraid that Evelyn will come home and see it.  The Shiney feels like a grown up secret.  Like when its dark and we all hear noises and their door is closed.  But she doesn't come home first.  Eric does.  We show it to him.
"Father said not to look for secrets." he says, but he can't keep his hands off of it.  He presses it to his cheek and says it smells like dust and the long light bulbs when they burn out and we have to change them.   His eyes get wet when he sets the Shiney down and says, "I bet this was Mother's."
Mary shakes her head, "But Father keeps all of mother's things in his room in the chest.  The one with the lock."
I nod, "I think Mary is right.  We should tell Evelyn about this."
"No." Eric says, "Maybe this is her secret.  Maybe she wants to keep this from Father."
"Maybe Father wants to keep it from Evelyn."  Mary says.
We decide not to tell and we put it away.  All of us want to hold it and feel it.  It is hard not to be looking at it.

I start feeling sick again when Evelyn comes home.  I wish I could call her mother, but Father said not to.  "Mother is gone.  We love Evelyn, but she is not Mother." he said to me long ago.  That makes me sad, but I think it would make him even more sad to disobey.
The fever comes back and I feel so cold.  The blankets don't seem to help and I feel shakey and my hair is wet with sweat.  Evelyn takes me to my bed and holds me for a long time.  I think she is crying a little.  When I get really sick, she is sad too.
My room is dark and she has been singing softly to me for a long time.  I hear the door open and Father comes in.  He sits on my bed and reaches around Evelyn and holds us both.
I hear them talking in whispers.
"When did it come back?" Father asks.
"Sometime in the afternoon.  It seems worse than ever."
"Have you sent for the Medic?"  He asks, his mouth is close to her ear.
I feel her nod through the padding of the mattress.
They are quiet for a little while.  I hear him kiss her.
I start shaking more as I get colder.  Evelyn tightens the blankets around me.  I hear her cry a little and feel her body shaking too.
"Thank you for this." Father says.  "Thank you for staying with me."
"I don't think I could leave even if I wanted to." she says.
"Really?"  I don't think Father believes her.
She sighs and even her breath sounds like a song, "There is much that I miss.  But my love for you and these children..."  Her voice falls into song.  A soft, cozy song that makes me think of blankets and her smell.
Father stands and kisses her hair.  "Thank you."
He stops at the door.  He speaks softly and I can barely hear him, "I still have it...I could..."
She speaks over him, "No.  The skies do not hold anything for me for they would keep me from all of you."
Father is crying.  "I will let them call you mother, if you wish."  He shuts the door behind him and does not wait for her to answer.

The Medic gives me medicine when he comes to see me.  His face is blurry and I feel sleepy.
Most of the night is full of Evelyn's song and sleep.  She is always there.  She sleeps beside me and sings when I wake up and cuddle next to her for warmth.

I dream during the night.  It is odd but I dream of smells.  Sharp electric smells of oranges and dust.  Evelyn smells.
The Shiney.
Evelyn.
They smell the same.
Starlight and sunlight and they empty black.
When I awaken, Mother is beside me and she glows.  She sings and the song is of years and time and stars.  I shudder as the fever moves over me again.  There is light from below the covers.
Mother laughs.  Evelyn laughs.
I sleep for a while.
It is still dark when I awaken.  Father is there standing in the middle of my room.  The lights are still low so it is night time.
Evelyn is moving about him, sliding in the air alive with light and laughter.  She glows and her glow files the room with starlight.
I hear Father laugh for the first time in a long time as he says, "My maiden of the stars."
The fever sends me back into the darkness and I sleep.
The Shiney is hers and she is my mother now.